After the misadventures to the noughties over the past few weeks, I’m rolling the clock forward all the way to the present day. This week’s offering comes courtesy of our glorious leader Simon Cowell by way of his latest reality show progeny Louisa Johnson and her single So Good. Currently setting the charts aflame at number 18, this track explores an issue close to my heart: the repercussions of accidentally going out.


I’m glad that Louisa Johnson is highlighting this rarely discussed cultural problem. One time I went to Spoons for dinner and ended up in Heaven (the gay club, not the place your childhood dog went to after it got run over on the A12). I’m still not 100% sure how or why this happened, it’s just one of the great mysteries of life. A dangerous mystery, like interplanetary travel or whether Death By Chocolate cakes are indeed fatal.


The Bond theme-esque opening  strings set the scene for some dramatic events. What could it be? A gangster trying to sell secrets to the Russians? A plan to blow up the moon? Worse. Louisa Johnson has accidentally gone out on a weeknight again.


“I wasn’t supposed to go out tonight
I should be at home
I got work at 9
Shouldn’t be out here doing what I like
But it feels so good, so good”


The accidental night out usually doesn’t get taken seriously as a problem as it is unfairly perceived as being the fault of the victim; if they only went for one and then left they wouldn’t be in this mess. However, what Louisa Johnson is capturing so brilliantly in this track is the compulsive nature of this dilemma. The individual knows that they “should be at home” because they “got work at nine”, yet their intense FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) ultimately overrides this logical instinct, leaving them stumbling home at 5am via a chicken shop with questionable food hygiene standards.


“you know me, I never leave”


Once this has happened enough times the individual gains something of a reputation for not knowing when to end the night. This poses a particular problem at house parties, where there is no official close, meaning that it can be all too easy to outstay one’s welcome. They didn’t mean to stay this late, but here they are passed out in your bed leaving you to sleep on the floor. “What a dickhead”, you think, unaware that FOMO is a serious disorder that requires understanding. Stop being so damned unsupportive.


It’s incredibly brave for Louisa Johnson to come out as a sufferer of this condition that can have a very real impact on friendships, lives and livers. It’s inspired me to own my experiences of it and I can now proudly say: I have FOMO. Recognition is the first step to a cure.


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