Just like our house goldfish, this feature has been resurrected from near death. The tank’s had a good scrub and it’s gotten used to the new food, so here comes a fresh lease of life. You could say that it’s a Sign Of The Times…

Oh Harry Styles. The one with the hair has all grown up since his not-so-distant boyband days. His first venture into solo life was a secret so carefully guarded that the only version of the finished track was kept on a single iPod watched over by a three-headed Louis Walsh. With fan anticipation nearing blue hot hysteria, the release of Sign Of The Times signalled a bright new era for Harry Styles with slightly more guitars in. This slow burning soft rock ballad is his chance to prove himself as a Serious Artist™, an opportunity to face up to his critics with a song about confronting adult concerns like communication, regret and death.

In spite of what genius.com/Harry-styles-sign-of-the-times-lyrics might tell you, Sign Of The Times is about none of these things. Let me set the scene. A group of friends head to the airport in the early hours of the morning. They’re hyped up about their imminent trip to Ibiza/Amsterdam/Shagaluf, they get to the terminal in high spirits, put all their liquids in those small airtight plastic bags, then, just as they’re about to go through the barriers to security the organised one amongst them asks jovially:

“Everyone got their passports?”

They laugh. What kind of knobcheese would forget their passport on the way to the holiday to end all holidays. A single voice cracking with sadness pierces the joyful throng.

“I’ve forgotten it”

The opening chords of Sign Of The Times play.

“Just stop your crying, it’s a sign of the times”

The gravity of the situation sinks in and even the most stoic of the group feels their eyes begin to moisten. The emotion flows freely, a natural reaction to the situation, a sign of the times.

“You can’t bribe the door on your way to the sky”

The group search desperately for a solution, could they bribe their friend’s path onto the plane? But no, they realise that’s a cretinously stupid idea.

“We never learn, we been here before”

It’s like that time we went to XOYO but you’d left your ID on the kitchen table so one of us had to come back home with you and say it was fine and these things happen whilst actually seething inside. Why is it always you every time? Why do you have to be so fucking forgetful?

“Just stop your crying, have the time of your life
Breaking through the atmosphere
And things are pretty good from here
Remember everything will be alright
We can meet again somewhere
Somewhere far away from here”

The forgetful one does the honourable thing and urges the others to go on ahead and have the time of their lives in Ibiza/Amsterdam/Shagaluf. That feeling of breaking through the clouds as their Easyjet flight makes the final descent to their destination will make all the pain and suffering worthwhile. “I’ll meet you there as soon as I can”, says ol’ forgetful, “everything will be alright.”

“WE’VE GOT TO WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAY

WE’VE GOT TO WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAY

WE’VE GOT TO WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAY

WE’VE GOT TO WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAAAAAAY”

 

We really fucking need this holiday.

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