Ah summertime. The living is easy, the cotton is high and the beach holidays are rife. Nothing says “sunshine and other summery stuff” quite like the Vengaboys. However contrary to popular belief, their timeless pop hit ‘We’re Going To Ibiza’ has nothing to do with any of this.
The oft repeated line “Ooh we’re going to Ibiza” is in fact a euphemistic term for entering into a period of existential personal crisis, along the same lines as your cat “going to a farm” when you were 6 was a euphemism for it being taken to the vet to be euthanised. Your cat’s dead Tom, stop pulling over at every farm you drive past and shouting “Helen!” until your throat gets sore and you end up crying in a hedge.
Just like our house goldfish, this feature has been resurrected from near death. The tank’s had a good scrub and it’s gotten used to the new food, so here comes a fresh lease of life. You could say that it’s a Sign Of The Times…
Oh Harry Styles. The one with the hair has all grown up since his not-so-distant boyband days. His first venture into solo life was a secret so carefully guarded that the only version of the finished track was kept on a single iPod watched over by a three-headed Louis Walsh. With fan anticipation nearing blue hot hysteria, the release of Sign Of The Times signalled a bright new era for Harry Styles with slightly more guitars in. This slow burning soft rock ballad is his chance to prove himself as a Serious Artist™, an opportunity to face up to his critics with a song about confronting adult concerns like communication, regret and death.
For as long as there have been artists, there have been artists dealing with feelings of otherness and alienation. In the corner of that famous cave painting in France is a lone stick figure, away from the rest, complaining about how no one understands them. Art and outsiders go together like butter and crumpets, one oozing through the other in a delicious melding of medium and matter.
From this ancient heritage comes global R&B megastar The Weeknd, who began his career as an enigma. According to Noisey, he’s really opened up on his latest album Starboy, the whole thing revealing many of the ‘I Can’t Feel My Face’ singer’s hitherto unknown secrets. The title track contains thinly veiled allusions to his greatest secret of all: that he is not of this planet.
In the words of Noddy Holder off of Slade “IT’S CHRISTMAS!” and there’s no way the world will let you forget about it. So come on lads, lets get the tinsel out, buy some underwhelming presents for your nan and get into the Christmas spirit.
Given the nature of the season it seems right to tackle that great bastion of songwriting: The Christmas Banger. And lets face it, nothing says “annual celebration of the birth of a bloke who may or may not be the Messiah and probably wasn’t born on this date anyway” like Walking In The Air.
After the misadventures to the noughties over the past few weeks, I’m rolling the clock forward all the way to the present day. This week’s offering comes courtesy of our glorious leader Simon Cowell by way of his latest reality show progeny Louisa Johnson and her single So Good. Currently setting the charts aflame at number 18, this track explores an issue close to my heart: the repercussions of accidentally going out.