What Do You Mean: Vengaboys – We’re Going To Ibiza

Ah summertime. The living is easy, the cotton is high and the beach holidays are rife. Nothing says “sunshine and other summery stuff” quite like the Vengaboys. However contrary to popular belief, their timeless pop hit ‘We’re Going To Ibiza’ has nothing to do with any of this.

The oft repeated line “Ooh we’re going to Ibiza” is in fact a euphemistic term for entering into a period of existential personal crisis, along the same lines as your cat “going to a farm” when you were 6 was a euphemism for it being taken to the vet to be euthanised. Your cat’s dead Tom, stop pulling over at every farm you drive past and shouting “Helen!” until your throat gets sore and you end up crying in a hedge.

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What Do You Mean: The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – Starboy

For as long as there have been artists, there have been artists dealing with feelings of otherness and alienation. In the corner of that famous cave painting in France is a lone stick figure, away from the rest, complaining about how no one understands them. Art and outsiders go together like butter and crumpets, one oozing through the other in a delicious melding of medium and matter.

 

From this ancient heritage comes global R&B megastar The Weeknd, who began his career as an enigma. According to Noisey, he’s really opened up on his latest album Starboy, the whole thing revealing many of the ‘I Can’t Feel My Face’ singer’s hitherto unknown secrets. The title track contains thinly veiled allusions to his greatest secret of all: that he is not of this planet.

 

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What Do You Mean: Walking in the Air

In the words of Noddy Holder off of Slade “IT’S CHRISTMAS!” and there’s no way the world will let you forget about it. So come on lads, lets get the tinsel out, buy some underwhelming presents for your nan and get into the Christmas spirit.

Given the nature of the season it seems right to tackle that great bastion of songwriting: The Christmas Banger. And lets face it, nothing says “annual celebration of the birth of a bloke who may or may not be the Messiah and probably wasn’t born on this date anyway” like Walking In The Air.

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What Do You Mean: Louisa Johnson – So Good

After the misadventures to the noughties over the past few weeks, I’m rolling the clock forward all the way to the present day. This week’s offering comes courtesy of our glorious leader Simon Cowell by way of his latest reality show progeny Louisa Johnson and her single So Good. Currently setting the charts aflame at number 18, this track explores an issue close to my heart: the repercussions of accidentally going out.

 

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What Do You Mean: S Club 7 – Reach

Much like the renegade master, I am back once again after a week off (last weekend involved a little too much ill behaviour). Keeping it within the early noughties, I am delving deep into the best seven piece band ever manufactured by record label hotshots, cos hey, there really ain’t no party like an S Club party.

S Club 7 were an aspirational tour de force. When they said don’t stop movin’ you realised you didn’t particularly enjoy being stationary anyway. When they lamented that they’d never had a dream true, your young brain mourned the fact that that dream you had about your cat learning to fly never came to fruition (oh Tiddles, if only). And when they told you to reach for the stars… Well…

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What Do You Mean: Sugababes – Push The Button

This week I’m rolling back the clock to the heady days of 2005, the year Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, Youtube was created and MG Rover went bust. That’s right kids, this time round I’m tackling Sugababes’ number 1 smash hit Push The Button.

The Sugababes have a reputation as a pop hydra, chop off one head and they grow another. Their final incarnation may have contained none of the original members, yet the group is so much more than an interchangeable selection of individuals. In a grand tradition stretching back to the three witches in Macbeth, when these three young women come together as The Sugababes, regardless of who the three women may be, a special kind of magical pop foresight occurs.

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