What Do You Mean: Vengaboys – We’re Going To Ibiza

Ah summertime. The living is easy, the cotton is high and the beach holidays are rife. Nothing says “sunshine and other summery stuff” quite like the Vengaboys. However contrary to popular belief, their timeless pop hit ‘We’re Going To Ibiza’ has nothing to do with any of this.

The oft repeated line “Ooh we’re going to Ibiza” is in fact a euphemistic term for entering into a period of existential personal crisis, along the same lines as your cat “going to a farm” when you were 6 was a euphemism for it being taken to the vet to be euthanised. Your cat’s dead Tom, stop pulling over at every farm you drive past and shouting “Helen!” until your throat gets sore and you end up crying in a hedge.

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What Do You Mean: Harry Styles – Sign Of The Times

Just like our house goldfish, this feature has been resurrected from near death. The tank’s had a good scrub and it’s gotten used to the new food, so here comes a fresh lease of life. You could say that it’s a Sign Of The Times…

Oh Harry Styles. The one with the hair has all grown up since his not-so-distant boyband days. His first venture into solo life was a secret so carefully guarded that the only version of the finished track was kept on a single iPod watched over by a three-headed Louis Walsh. With fan anticipation nearing blue hot hysteria, the release of Sign Of The Times signalled a bright new era for Harry Styles with slightly more guitars in. This slow burning soft rock ballad is his chance to prove himself as a Serious Artist™, an opportunity to face up to his critics with a song about confronting adult concerns like communication, regret and death.

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What Do You Mean: Louisa Johnson – So Good

After the misadventures to the noughties over the past few weeks, I’m rolling the clock forward all the way to the present day. This week’s offering comes courtesy of our glorious leader Simon Cowell by way of his latest reality show progeny Louisa Johnson and her single So Good. Currently setting the charts aflame at number 18, this track explores an issue close to my heart: the repercussions of accidentally going out.


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What Do You Mean: S Club 7 – Reach

Much like the renegade master, I am back once again after a week off (last weekend involved a little too much ill behaviour). Keeping it within the early noughties, I am delving deep into the best seven piece band ever manufactured by record label hotshots, cos hey, there really ain’t no party like an S Club party.

S Club 7 were an aspirational tour de force. When they said don’t stop movin’ you realised you didn’t particularly enjoy being stationary anyway. When they lamented that they’d never had a dream true, your young brain mourned the fact that that dream you had about your cat learning to fly never came to fruition (oh Tiddles, if only). And when they told you to reach for the stars… Well…

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Swim Deep @ Electrowerkz Upstairs 1/4/15

One of NME’s poster boys from 2013, a year that hailed the arrival of Palma Violets and fellow Brummies Peace into the indie big leagues, Swim Deep returned for their first London show for around a year and a half. With a new album set for release in the summer, this gig marked the live premiere of their new sound.

Arriving on stage promptly at 9:30, they dived into a new song with frontman Austin warning “it’s a bit weird”. What followed was a nine minute dark psychedelic number containing the ominous refrain “this is the house of fun, we’re going to run and run”. Next up was first album hit Honey, guaranteed to get the crowd singing. They continued to intermingle old and new material during the rest of the set to an overwhelmingly positive reception.

swim deep

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And the award for gross under-representation goes to…

Ah yes. The Brit Awards. That point in the UK music calendar when Britain’s brightest (and highest selling) pop artists are rewarded with a statuette of Britannia, the goddess symbol of the nation. Almost as famous as the musicians who receive the awards are the dramas that seem to happen every year. Who can forget Jarvis Cocker getting up on stage and baring his arse during Michael Jackson’s performance of ‘Earth Song’? Or Adele being cut off mid-speech by James Corden so that the Blur medley finale could go ahead on schedule? This year’s ceremony followed in the grand tradition of hiccups and fuck ups, but while everyone else is talking about Madonna toppling over or Kanye’s explicit lyrics being blanked out despite airing after the watershed, I want to talk about something much more scandalous. The distinct under-representation of women amongst the award winners and nominees.

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